eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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