spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
