he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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