I wish my penis had an off switch
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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