His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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