Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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