I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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