jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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