I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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