They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
