I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
