just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
only you would photoshop your dick
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
