Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
