So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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