I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
