Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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