the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
this hospital has no fireball
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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