Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
