I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
