i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
