girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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