p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
