I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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