dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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