i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
