I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
