The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
