she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
