So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
