They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
