Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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