Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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