I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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