so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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