1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
