im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize