she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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