Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
