I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
