OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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