Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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