I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
