Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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  (845): when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me. http://tfl.nu/56i6
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (3045)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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  (713): My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it http://tfl.nu/zhky
  Replies (109) Good night (1055) Bad night (4752)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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  (267): Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go. http://tfl.nu/5urf
  Replies (26) Good night (1654) Bad night (3847)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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  (732): It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/fjdb
  Replies (25) Good night (633) Bad night (4931)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

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  (703): is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon? http://tfl.nu/fld0
  Replies (66) Good night (7218) Bad night (1642)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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  (908): Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim. http://tfl.nu/snt6
  Replies (21) Good night (1165) Bad night (3956)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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  (905): I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact.. http://tfl.nu/kbzw
  Replies (42) Good night (813) Bad night (5963)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement

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  (443): i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement http://tfl.nu/03ue
  Replies (8) Good night (3920) Bad night (1264)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

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  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (14070) Bad night (1237)
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  (562): View more from California

  Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

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  (562): Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night http://tfl.nu/t1ll
  Replies (2) Good night (1517) Bad night (807)
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  (607): View more from New York

  she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well

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  (607): she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well http://tfl.nu/uzhl
  Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (869)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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  (303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (445)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I told you he wasn't attractive.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..

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  (440): I told you he wasn't attractive. (1-440): Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf.. http://tfl.nu/x2hn
  Replies (9) Good night (386) Bad night (921)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?

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  (+61): So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma? http://tfl.nu/bhgl
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (622)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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  (781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (206)

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