its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
