4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
