i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
