Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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(302): View more from Delaware

you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

he's 29.

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(281): View more from Texas

All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?

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(216): View more from Ohio

I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it

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