We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
