Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
