Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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