You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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