Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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