Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
