I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
