she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
