When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
