We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
too bad you live with your parents still
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
