is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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