Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
