i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
