My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
