I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
