Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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