We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
...so i touched it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
