Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize