Where did you get a picture of my penis
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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