What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
operation harelip BJ is a go
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
