i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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