so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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